Ironies of life
Buckeye, AZ • A shopper at Walmart was ironically in the meat department in November
when his semiautomatic handgun, which he had positioned for a quick draw in the waistband
of his sweatpants, began to slip. As he tried to reposition it, he told Buckeye police, it
discharged, striking the gunslinger in his meat department.
Feet fetishes
Zhangzhou, Fujian • The Daily Mail reported on Dec. 14 that a Chinese man identified only
as Peng, 37, was hospitalized in Zhangzhou, Fujian province, after he complained of a cough
and chest pains. As doctors examined him, Peng admitted that he is "addicted to smelling his
socks that he had been wearing." The pain in his chest, it turns out, was a fungal infection he
had inhaled from his socks.
Go to Helena
Helena MT • Call it a dangerous case of mistaken identity: The Helena Independent
Record reported that a 27-year-old man was shot at multiple times in December after being
mistaken for Big Foot. The unidentified man told police he was setting up targets for shooting
on federal land when bullets struck the ground nearby. He ran for cover, then confronted the
shooter, who said the first man "was not wearing orange and thought he was Big Foot," said
Lewis and Clark County Sheriff Leo Dutton.
Take this job and shove it
Spring Hill, FL • Dominick Breedlove doomed his chances of landing a job at Kohl's by
getting arrested for shoplifting after his interview. Breedlove arrived for his appointment with
Human Resources around 3:20 that afternoon, Hernando County Sheriff's deputies said, and
afterward stopped to browse in the shoe department. A loss prevention officer watching
Breedlove told police the suspect went outside to his car, retrieved a Kohl's shopping bag and
returned to the store, where he stashed two pairs of Nike athletic shoes worth $150 in the
bag.
Art wins
Westford, VT • Ted Pelkey has been battling the Westford Development Review Board for
months over his proposal to erect a building on his property for his truck repair and
monofilament recycling business. But he told WCAX News that the city keeps putting up
barriers to the development, so Pelkey has instead installed a message to the board and the
people of Westford: a giant sculpture of a fist with the middle finger raised. "It's very big.
Everybody got the message," said Fairfax resident Carol Jordan. Pelkey, who spent $4,000 on
the public rebuke, said he hopes the citizens of Westford will take a "really long look at the
people who are running their town." In the meantime, the select board told WCAX that
because the sculpture is considered public art, they can take no action against it. [WCAX
News, 12/4/2018]
Morons on parade
North Raleigh, NC • A successful heist at an electronics retail store requires careful
planning and attention to detail - a fact that appears to have escaped three men in November.
That night, the News and Observer reported, an employee of the store called 911 to report
that three men had entered the store with semi-automatic weapons and ordered workers into
the stockroom. One of them was carrying a cardboard box, officers learned, which he used to
load up mobile phones and smart watches. The men also filled two crates with merchandise,
which totaled more than $26,000. When the robbers left through the back door, they took the
crates with them, but forgot the cardboard box which, serendipitously, sported a shipping
label with an address on it. Police used the address, along with a mug shot from a previous
crime that matched an image in the store's surveillance video, to track down Brian Lamonte
Clark, 22, and arrest him for robbery with a dangerous weapon and conspiracy to commit
robbery.
The University of Kansas Cancer Center just wants its colon back. The $4,000 giant
inflatable colon, used to educate the public about colon health, was stolen from the bed of a
pickup truck on Oct. 19. The Kansas City Star reported it was scheduled to appear at a
run/walk event at a local park the next day. Kansas City Police are hoping the public will help
find the 150-pound, 10-foot-long colon and return it to its owners.
Getting a massage with everything
Toronto, Canada • Along with a nail salon, a massage parlor and a dry cleaner, a mall in
Toronto, Canada, is now the site of North America's first sex doll brothel. Aura Dolls offers "an
exciting new way" for patrons to achieve their desires "without the many restrictions and
limitations that a real partner may come with," says the company's website. The company
says it has had requests from women for male dolls and is considering adding them.
Piss on it
Concord, MA • Walden Pond, made famous by naturalist Henry David Thoreau in the mid-
1800s, is an ecological disaster thanks to human urine. NBC News reports that swimmers
urinating in the water for generations is the most likely cause of high levels of nitrogen and
phosphorus in the pond that cause algae to spread and block the sun's rays, devastating the
fish population.
Ironies of life
Buckeye, AZ • A shopper at Walmart was ironically in the meat department in November
when his semiautomatic handgun, which he had positioned for a quick draw in the waistband
of his sweatpants, began to slip. As he tried to reposition it, he told Buckeye police, it
discharged, striking the gunslinger in his meat department.
Feet fetishes
Zhangzhou, Fujian • The Daily Mail reported on Dec. 14 that a Chinese man identified only
as Peng, 37, was hospitalized in Zhangzhou, Fujian province, after he complained of a cough
and chest pains. As doctors examined him, Peng admitted that he is "addicted to smelling his
socks that he had been wearing." The pain in his chest, it turns out, was a fungal infection he
had inhaled from his socks.
Go to Helena
Helena MT • Call it a dangerous case of mistaken identity: The Helena Independent
Record reported that a 27-year-old man was shot at multiple times in December after being
mistaken for Big Foot. The unidentified man told police he was setting up targets for shooting
on federal land when bullets struck the ground nearby. He ran for cover, then confronted the
shooter, who said the first man "was not wearing orange and thought he was Big Foot," said
Lewis and Clark County Sheriff Leo Dutton.
Take this job and shove it
Spring Hill, FL • Dominick Breedlove doomed his chances of landing a job at Kohl's by
getting arrested for shoplifting after his interview. Breedlove arrived for his appointment with
Human Resources around 3:20 that afternoon, Hernando County Sheriff's deputies said, and
afterward stopped to browse in the shoe department. A loss prevention officer watching
Breedlove told police the suspect went outside to his car, retrieved a Kohl's shopping bag and
returned to the store, where he stashed two pairs of Nike athletic shoes worth $150 in the
bag.
Art wins
Westford, VT • Ted Pelkey has been battling the Westford Development Review Board for
months over his proposal to erect a building on his property for his truck repair and
monofilament recycling business. But he told WCAX News that the city keeps putting up
barriers to the development, so Pelkey has instead installed a message to the board and the
people of Westford: a giant sculpture of a fist with the middle finger raised. "It's very big.
Everybody got the message," said Fairfax resident Carol Jordan. Pelkey, who spent $4,000 on
the public rebuke, said he hopes the citizens of Westford will take a "really long look at the
people who are running their town." In the meantime, the select board told WCAX that
because the sculpture is considered public art, they can take no action against it. [WCAX
News, 12/4/2018]
Morons on parade
North Raleigh, NC • A successful heist at an electronics retail store requires careful
planning and attention to detail - a fact that appears to have escaped three men in November.
That night, the News and Observer reported, an employee of the store called 911 to report
that three men had entered the store with semi-automatic weapons and ordered workers into
the stockroom. One of them was carrying a cardboard box, officers learned, which he used to
load up mobile phones and smart watches. The men also filled two crates with merchandise,
which totaled more than $26,000. When the robbers left through the back door, they took the
crates with them, but forgot the cardboard box which, serendipitously, sported a shipping
label with an address on it. Police used the address, along with a mug shot from a previous
crime that matched an image in the store's surveillance video, to track down Brian Lamonte
Clark, 22, and arrest him for robbery with a dangerous weapon and conspiracy to commit
robbery.
The University of Kansas Cancer Center just wants its colon back. The $4,000 giant
inflatable colon, used to educate the public about colon health, was stolen from the bed of a
pickup truck on Oct. 19. The Kansas City Star reported it was scheduled to appear at a
run/walk event at a local park the next day. Kansas City Police are hoping the public will help
find the 150-pound, 10-foot-long colon and return it to its owners.
Getting a massage with everything
Toronto, Canada • Along with a nail salon, a massage parlor and a dry cleaner, a mall in
Toronto, Canada, is now the site of North America's first sex doll brothel. Aura Dolls offers "an
exciting new way" for patrons to achieve their desires "without the many restrictions and
limitations that a real partner may come with," says the company's website. The company
says it has had requests from women for male dolls and is considering adding them.
Piss on it
Concord, MA • Walden Pond, made famous by naturalist Henry David Thoreau in the mid-
1800s, is an ecological disaster thanks to human urine. NBC News reports that swimmers
urinating in the water for generations is the most likely cause of high levels of nitrogen and
phosphorus in the pond that cause algae to spread and block the sun's rays, devastating the
fish population.
Ironies of life
Buckeye, AZ • A shopper at Walmart was ironically in the meat department in November
when his semiautomatic handgun, which he had positioned for a quick draw in the waistband
of his sweatpants, began to slip. As he tried to reposition it, he told Buckeye police, it
discharged, striking the gunslinger in his meat department.
Feet fetishes
Zhangzhou, Fujian • The Daily Mail reported on Dec. 14 that a Chinese man identified only
as Peng, 37, was hospitalized in Zhangzhou, Fujian province, after he complained of a cough
and chest pains. As doctors examined him, Peng admitted that he is "addicted to smelling his
socks that he had been wearing." The pain in his chest, it turns out, was a fungal infection he
had inhaled from his socks.
Go to Helena
Helena MT • Call it a dangerous case of mistaken identity: The Helena Independent
Record reported that a 27-year-old man was shot at multiple times in December after being
mistaken for Big Foot. The unidentified man told police he was setting up targets for shooting
on federal land when bullets struck the ground nearby. He ran for cover, then confronted the
shooter, who said the first man "was not wearing orange and thought he was Big Foot," said
Lewis and Clark County Sheriff Leo Dutton.
Take this job and shove it
Spring Hill, FL • Dominick Breedlove doomed his chances of landing a job at Kohl's by
getting arrested for shoplifting after his interview. Breedlove arrived for his appointment with
Human Resources around 3:20 that afternoon, Hernando County Sheriff's deputies said, and
afterward stopped to browse in the shoe department. A loss prevention officer watching
Breedlove told police the suspect went outside to his car, retrieved a Kohl's shopping bag and
returned to the store, where he stashed two pairs of Nike athletic shoes worth $150 in the
bag.
Art wins
Westford, VT • Ted Pelkey has been battling the Westford Development Review Board for
months over his proposal to erect a building on his property for his truck repair and
monofilament recycling business. But he told WCAX News that the city keeps putting up
barriers to the development, so Pelkey has instead installed a message to the board and the
people of Westford: a giant sculpture of a fist with the middle finger raised. "It's very big.
Everybody got the message," said Fairfax resident Carol Jordan. Pelkey, who spent $4,000 on
the public rebuke, said he hopes the citizens of Westford will take a "really long look at the
people who are running their town." In the meantime, the select board told WCAX that
because the sculpture is considered public art, they can take no action against it. [WCAX
News, 12/4/2018]
Morons on parade
North Raleigh, NC • A successful heist at an electronics retail store requires careful
planning and attention to detail - a fact that appears to have escaped three men in November.
That night, the News and Observer reported, an employee of the store called 911 to report
that three men had entered the store with semi-automatic weapons and ordered workers into
the stockroom. One of them was carrying a cardboard box, officers learned, which he used to
load up mobile phones and smart watches. The men also filled two crates with merchandise,
which totaled more than $26,000. When the robbers left through the back door, they took the
crates with them, but forgot the cardboard box which, serendipitously, sported a shipping
label with an address on it. Police used the address, along with a mug shot from a previous
crime that matched an image in the store's surveillance video, to track down Brian Lamonte
Clark, 22, and arrest him for robbery with a dangerous weapon and conspiracy to commit
robbery.
The University of Kansas Cancer Center just wants its colon back. The $4,000 giant
inflatable colon, used to educate the public about colon health, was stolen from the bed of a
pickup truck on Oct. 19. The Kansas City Star reported it was scheduled to appear at a
run/walk event at a local park the next day. Kansas City Police are hoping the public will help
find the 150-pound, 10-foot-long colon and return it to its owners.
Getting a massage with everything
Toronto, Canada • Along with a nail salon, a massage parlor and a dry cleaner, a mall in
Toronto, Canada, is now the site of North America's first sex doll brothel. Aura Dolls offers "an
exciting new way" for patrons to achieve their desires "without the many restrictions and
limitations that a real partner may come with," says the company's website. The company
says it has had requests from women for male dolls and is considering adding them.
Piss on it
Concord, MA • Walden Pond, made famous by naturalist Henry David Thoreau in the mid-
1800s, is an ecological disaster thanks to human urine. NBC News reports that swimmers
urinating in the water for generations is the most likely cause of high levels of nitrogen and
phosphorus in the pond that cause algae to spread and block the sun's rays, devastating the
fish population.
